It's a Struggle.....

Hmmm... Very interesting. As I came back to my blog for the first time in several months I found this blog post which I started at the end of the fall semester while I was still in Biblical Interpretation. This is interesting to me as it applies to the post which I came here to make. The paragraph that I had already written is as follows:

Over the course of the last two weeks in our Biblical Interpretation class, we have heard a total of 16 sermons. This class only meets once a week, so we ended up listening to 8 sermons each class period. I know some of you may be thinking that you have a hard enough time getting through one sermon on Sunday morning. There's no way you could get through 8 sermons in a 3-hour period, but for me it has been very interesting to see how different people can look at the very same passage but see it very differently. As I have listened to the many different sermons, I have come to one conclusion, which is, this Christian lifestyle that we are all trying to live is a struggle and it is  time that we start admitting that not only to ourselves, but to our congregations and the hurting people around us.

That was true to me then and I am even more aware of that truth here lately. Over the course of the last 3 (almost 4) months, I have struggled with knee pain and trying to give my body the time it needs to heal while still fulfilling my duties at school, church, and driving back and forth to doctor's appointments. None of those tasks are easy to begin with, and let me just tell you, they aren't any easier with a bum knee. I have had to wrestle with where God is in and through this. I mean I am at seminary being educated and becoming better equipped to minister to others, why would this happen to me? Did God cause this? No, I don't think I am ready to make that leap. This happened, because I stepped in a hole. Is God trying to teach me something? Well, I do believe God can use anything and God is definitely using this situation to help me see that we do the church and people we minister to an injustice by making this faith journey sound easy. We love to share our mountaintop experiences, but where is the authenticity and vulnerability of sharing our valley experiences.

As I have been thinking through these things, I look around me and I see all of the pain, hurt, injustice, violence, etc. in the world around us.  In just this last week, we have seen the bombing of a marathon in Boston and the subsequent city shut down and stand-off between the first responders and the bombers, a friend of my sister's past away due to injuries sustained in a car accident on the morning of her 21st birthday, the pastor I grew up under had to undergo emergency brain surgery due to a hemorrhage, and this only scratches the surface on what the people around us are going through on a day-to-day basis. Are we doing the church an injustice by telling stories or victory and omitting stories of pain and suffering? Are we leading in such a way that makes people feel guilty for struggling or that makes people realize that sometimes life sucks but we have a God who is bigger than our problems who is always there to walk this journey with us?

So how do we do this? How can we change the atmosphere of our churches to one that is not only inviting but one that is authentic and vulnerable?

• The short and sweet answer to that is it starts with the leader. The leaders of churches must be willing to be authentic and vulnerable in front of their congregations. We must be willing to admit that during the faith journey there will be struggles, but God will be with us along the way and as a church family, the community of believers, we must be willing to walk alongside one another not only while we are on the mountaintop, but also when we are in the valley. 
• We must begin to create an atmosphere that gets rid of the fake and forced greetings of "How are you?" "I'm fine how are you?" We all know we are not fine all of the time, so why do we continue to put our masks on in the very place where we should strip ourselves of the masks and allow God to comfort and guide us.
• When you are having a mountaintop experience, don't be afraid to share your experience with others but recognize that not everyone is in the same position you are and some people may need your listening ear or to be shown compassion and love.
• DON'T give the churchy answer!! We, as Christians and leaders alike, have this bad habit of giving one another the churchy answer even when we know that's not how we really feel, because that is what you are "supposed" to say. Be open and honest with one another and if you don't know what to say, be honest about that as well. Most of the time your presence means more to someone than anything you could ever say. 
• DON'T put the blame on the person who is struggling. As someone who is currently in this position, I can honestly tell you, people do not want to be told that "if they only prayed more, God would heal them" and they don't want to be asked what unconfessed sin they have in their life that is causing them to hurt in this way. 
• LOVE people. God created us to be in community with one another and to love each other. If someone is hurting, let them know that you love them and are there if they need someone to talk to. (Note: Only say this if you are truly serious about being there for them. For some people, it is difficult to ask other people for help and it becomes even harder if someone has mentioned that they are there for them, but in reality they really aren't.)
• PRAY for them and with them. Again, as someone who has been through and is going through a hard time, it is great to know that other people are praying for you and even better when people pray with you. That way you know they are not just saying that they are praying, but they actually are praying for, with, and over you.